Hey Diddly-Do-Da Papa's Blog!

Discount friends aren't worth their weight in tin...

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 10:43:04 -0400

So far away, yet in the swiftest lapse of time, I've lost the dearest soul I've known. Abandoned thru these ageless days by friends, associates, faith community, and loved ones, I am out in the world by myself. Unlike the child reliant on parents to give care, mature and alone, I walk the pathways of a desolation in bright light, and rains, and storms, or quiet nights in darkness. Thoughts, or memories askew, become the true reality of looking in the mirrors of time. You begin to feel the winds of time brush upon your skins or penetrate your skeleton of human-ness. Like etched glass your vision becomes frosted with a roughened raspiness. It can be the lonely world of which you've often heard, or one with few perfections in the evolution of creations. When you are in the night at home, you go to the walls of security and flick a simple switch to bring back light into your life. When the heart is dark it is not as easy to bring back its light. I cautiously begin anew to trust a brace of friends, renew old relationships with family, and look hopefully to finding that simple switch to turn back on the light within my burdened, saddened heart. I will go to the dictionary and research the meaning of "friend" again, and seek that out in people, and pray that it is true in all its realities.

and so summer ends again....

Mon, 26 Sep 2011 22:36:41 -0400

Down untraveled roads I wander in my current dream of life.
So it always seems, altho' roads are the same....
Inside out and wrong side round they hill and level off...
A biker with whom I ate a lunch scoffed that I seemed one lost...
I wondered that he might be 'found'....ah yes...
What magic has him inside right unlike mine own predicament...
Up traveled roads I go again, again and again...
As if at some place I will find myself and smile too....once more....
I have invited some to come away with me like Norah Jones...
I want to walk with someone on a cloudy day....
Come away with me on a mountain top...come and I will be...
lovin' you..

Humanities next great discovery...

Mon, 05 Sep 2011 10:22:00 -0400

In all of man's daily artful dancing, one thing appears certain. That mankind has lost a major portion of what history will describe as it's 'humanity'. In the days, weeks, months and years ahead most of our difficulties will derive from this translucent characteristic. Rediscovering it means many things. How we love, who we love, things we cherish, true dislikes and likes, comparisons with others, performance importance, et alia. This is a rediscovery of our own reality.
The next great discovery for mankind will be that which replaces electricity.

Once upon a time...so so long ago...a yesteryear

Sat, 18 Dec 2010 22:20:49 -0400

She came into my life so long ago.
Forty-two years have passed.
An eternity in the making full of joys and woes.
I bent upon eternity with her and spent all my life force doting on that aim.
She's gone now for all time and I am lost in soulful dance of memories.
Within this heart beats one long harmful cast of tunes, a woeful mourn.A smile now and then, and leaping heart.
Tomorrows have crept into spaces I did not know were there and I am seeking one thing only in my days.
No single other soul doth know it, nor seem care.
Besought it shall and must be found. Without this I despair.
This one driving force is all remaining in this dance of life.
-god willing it be somewhere-
Now look there!

This is a special November

Mon, 22 Nov 2010 12:43:31 -0400

My family will gather at my home this year for Thanksgiving. Well, not the entire group but some who came from even as far a way as Scotland. Pittsburgh and, of course, Cleveland. We will have a turkey breast stuffed with brownberry herb dressing, my cranberry sauce. Other items will be made here or brought to share. I am truly looking forward to this occasion. I have been redecorating the first floor of my home and will be able to show it off a bit when they all come over this week. What fun!

Through the darkness find some light! No, make it brighter or become the dark.

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 02:07:30 -0400

The tunnel of loneliness has no light at the end of it. In fact there is no enduring end to it. Only the light directly near you or surrounding you. If you cannot expand the area of light around you in order to eliminate the whole tunnel of lonesome darkness, it feels as if it is futile to attempt to do so on your own. The facets of relationships remaining in your life defines the many emotings relevant to your happiness. If,for example, you have been abandoned by those you have loved over many years, it becomes terribly difficult to manifest much more than the great sadness resultant of that abandonment. It makes reaching out into that darkness a very misfortuned experience in constant living. I do now say I have been experiencing this type of abandonment since my dear Stephanie's death.

Time heals "all" wounds.....

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 20:43:00 -0400

I am convinced that he who believes time heals all wounds has not lost the most loved one in their life....
I am not recovering or trying to anymore...
I am selfishly pursuing some measure of happiness in what remains of my life....
Balancing the spectrum of emotions is probably the hardest thing I do these days.
Work gives me purpose only when I work. Friendships seem much more shallow lately. Even with those who could be more than friends. Almost noone speaks about Stephanie in any terms now except my children and my mother. My siblings are still unable to call to see how I am doing and it has been over two years.
I also know nobody reads these blogs anymore so I can pretty much say what I _ _ _ _ _ _ _ want to. Sad but true.
Recent events indicates to me all my children are moving away now for a variety of reasons. Soon(like in a year or so) not one of them will be within a one state travel.
I have lost all of my old friends of the last forty years or so. Abandoned really. It is a sad truth. So I am focusing on a few new friends to love. So far it has been a lot of work and mostly onesided. Maybe I need to broaden my focus.
I am only blogging to bring myself up to date on a coupla issues. Who knows when next I will blog? Only the "great blogger" knows.

I wander in my recent mind...

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 16:17:37 -0400

Today I saw the dirty ice out on the lake,
No recent memory of dirty ice is there.
Today I watched a multitude at sale,
No memory of sailing will prevail.
And luster upon luster brazened dull,
Has sat inside my brain all afternoon.
It seems erasure of some thoughts
not channeled have gone lost so...
There I wander in my recent mind.
And, it does appear, I have gone lost.
And, all at once, the thought is tossed.

Say does anyone remember using e-mail as a form of communication in the past?

Winter's blight doth bite me harsh...

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 20:17:26 -0400

I have been by the lake today.
Bitter cold in windy exaltation.
Sunlight hallows every glistening snow.
I inch along so frigid is the day.
Where winter's blight doth bite me harsh
and molds my frozen shapenned clay.
I have now seen the darkened waves.
They crash and shudder underneath these lands.
Aroar these shapes do shake my bodies core.
I leave so as to just protect my heart.
and blocks away I am still deeply moved.
I have been by the lake today....

Along came a baby named Sonya Rose....

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 21:18:34 -0400

She's a beautiful grand daughter, 6lbs 4 oz. of wiggly joy. She has lots of hair and a cherubic face with a wonderful though rare smile at 18 days old. She looks around at everything as though she is absorbing everything in this new world around her. I got to give her first bath at home this week and she didn't like it much. She shivered and cried through the whole bath. She loved getting dried off and having the hoody part of the towel around her head all wrapped up in the warm towel. I guess I'd like that too. Who wouldn't? Eh? Well we had a very nice time over three days. I love holding her and singing to her and telling her stories and saying prayers with her and snoozing while holding her on my chest. Liam is only a little jealous. He really is a good big brother. Although I don't really think she wants to share playing with his dinosaurs just yet. I'll be seeing her again soon. I look forward to being with Liam too.

What ever Happened to the memory....

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 22:11:56 -0400

Today was my anniversary of marriage to Stephanie.....
It'll be two years in January since she died from pancreatic cancer....
It would have been our 38th year together.....
I miss her more than ever this year....
Nobody remembered it today......
This is a very sad reality for me....
Goodbye....Sweetheart.....from your still loving husband....

Rains of time

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:14:19 -0400

I am standing, arms wide open
Stretched upward to the skies.
The depth of truths I know
Is deeper than my own life's blood.
I no longer can control my own
Largess of thought.
Neither do I win the games of life.
Never does this import gather wealth,
Nor does it impose justice in my heart,
Unwiped, unbowed, not burdened,
I am exposed to the darksomeness
Underneath the rains of time.

Life's full of subtle strength....

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 22:29:40 -0400

A poem for you:

I spake at the moon so full of light,
And breathed the crisp night air.
All my worries left my breast
And took my deep despair.

The angel of the day aroused,
And gathered in my soul.
She sped throughout the universe,
And returned me much more whole.

Gladdened to be renewed this way,
Vowed to rejoice anew,
I slay the inward thoughts
And believe I somehow grew.

To infinity and beyond!

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 22:12:51 -0400

I bent my heart in two and leaned upon the past not long ago and within this raining hour have seen that much here holds no more sway o'er me. Behold me? Here am I. Here am I.
An earnest phrase beheld by noone but once again. Who would deny the knowledge of a truth but a fool, or one beloved for my sake.

Trumpets and the Horns of my Time...

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 22:40:22 -0400

The music in my room is softly playing water falls and rain and piano lullaby's. I am relaxed and nostalgic all at an even pace. Easy listening to. It will go on for four hours or until I turn it off to go to bed. It is 9:43 pm. So it will be a while. I mowed my grass today. Yay! It's done till next time. Always feels good. I got a digital antenna today to replace the one that came with the house 32 years ago. Only god knows how long it had been there before that! The new one once channels were scanned for brought in the great sum total of one channel. Not the nine I was hoping for. So I re engaged my old antenna with clean wires newly fastened. It now brings in eight channels, the acquisition of my lost friend PBS,channel 25 is back and better than ever in clarity. So, I got out of the car, got back in and restarted it. It works better and I am pleased. Not perfect but it is good. So I had a good day. It rained this am as I ran my nine miles early before breakfast. Well, actually, I didn't want anything to eat until four pm. I made chili with peaches in it and hot red cayenne. Very nice actually. I was done earlier than usual so the weekend break to Rae's was good for me in that regard.
Originally, I thought about blogging all day. I have been to the Grand Canyon with the one I love most. Have you? Her eyes were big with excitement and interest and she wanted to show me all of it. Rafting, camping, hiking. It was not to be. We did hike a mile down into it on our visit after my respiratory graduation in May of '06. We had just been to Israel on Mt. Carmel in January. Oh she shone brilliantly there too. So happy. It was our pilgrimmage. I have been to the Holy Land with the one I love most seen where my Lord walked and lived, and is buried. Have you?
I have been to a wedding in Philadelphia, I have gone to the Museum of Art there with the one I love most. Have you? I have been on television twice with the one I love most. Have you?
I have been there and assisted the one I love most with the birth of each of our children
You have so much to wonder about and live together, and do. Memories are good, but the living...oh, the living is so wonderful.
I have married the one I love most....I bet you feel the same....kewl....as it should be....