January 2008 Archives

Other Shoe

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The other day, my brother Nathan asked me about how I felt regarding our mother's death, whether I was a wreck or felt okay and was wondering when "the other shoe would drop". I told him I did feel okay, and that I fully expected the other shoe to drop, repeatedly, throughout my life.

I had a shoe drop today. I was going over to a friend's house, who turned out not to be there, and trying to think about how I felt about my mother dying so that when she asked me how I was doing I could talk about it a little. Because, truth be told, I feel so much that it's hard to sort through it all and make heads or tails of it.

As I was sitting in the car, looking at a wallet size photo of my mother with Liam, with the gear shift under my hand, I realized that it was my mother who taught me how to drive stick shift. It wasn't far before I was sobbing. I got myself to my friend's mother's house - she happens to live down the street from me and is also a hospice nurse, walked in and said, "I need someone to say 'I know'." Not everyone does, of course. In fact, many people simply don't. And hey, bully for you. But sometimes, I just need someone who does know.

Well, we all need our distractions. Here's one for you:


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If you happened to miss my mother's funeral, then you missed the best eulogy ever. Fortunately, my sister posted it on her blog so that I could share it with you.

My father's response is pretty wonderful, too.

Thank you, Rae. It really is perfect.


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My mother has passed away peacefully, here with us, with a smile on her face.

UPDATE: The funeral will begin at 12:30 p.m. on Monday, 7 January at Brunner's Funeral Home on Mentor Avenue in Mentor.

Final Moments?

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Are these her final moments? She's lucid enough to ask us all not to leave the house... but not much more.

This is how I prefer to remember her. Isn't this a great shot?


Ah, Maman, you know better than anyone how much I love you and don't want you to leave. The hardship is that you're also the best person to understand how hard it is to go forward without your Maman. Well, now you get to be with your Mummy again. I am sure she anxiously awaits you, to share with you the many splendors of the next realm.

p.s. just in case: please no visits, phone calls or food. thanks.

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This page is an archive of entries from January 2008 listed from newest to oldest.

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