April 2009 Archives

Probably better known for being 99 and 44/100 percent pure than for her vice presidential ambitions, Marilyn Chambers is dead at 56.


She apparently died quietly at home, fully clothed, not as she lived, raucously and naked most of the time.


I’m going to go celebrate her life the same way I always have, provided Ingrida didn’t throw out all of my back issues of Swank.

And so am I.

I hate Easter, with all of it’s clearly pagan celebration of sex and fecundity. I’m so happy this week is over, I’ve written a little ditty, sung to the tune of “Sexy Back” by Justin Timberlake.

It’s called: Spinster Back

I’m bringin’ spinster back.

Them other girls don’t know how to act.

I think it’s special to wear cloth from a sack.

I’m wearin’ hair shirts that are coloured black

(take ‘em to the bridge!)

Dirty babe

born in a manger. Jesus, I’m your slave.

I’ll let you whip me if I misbehave

It’s just that no one makes me feel this way.

(take ‘em to the chorus!)

Come here girl

(Put some clothes on)

Come to the back

(Put some clothes on)

Dirty whore!

(Put some clothes on)


I don’t really hate Easter; all of the pagan symbolism becomes concentrated into a perfect storm of imagery that leaves women womb wrenchingly broody. It’s a fun time for the whole family way.

Turn and Face the Strange...

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The Definite Article is going through some changes.

I’ve upgraded to Movable Type 4.25, which will be noticed by hardly anybody except me.

I’ve also changed the templates of the blog to the 4.25 templates. I’m slowly porting across the other bits and pieces that helped make the site more than just another dull white blog with a dull green stripe at the top. This will take a bit of time, since I can only work on it at night, but it’ll get there.

I’ve changed the comment process so that you can, if you wish, log in to leave comments. You don’t have to, it’s completely optional, but it is a positioning change for future integration with Google Friends and Facebook, amongst others. I’ve got just about every open authentication system I could find - except Facebook - and have gotten them working. If you want to log in using your Google or AIM or Yahoo! or OpenID credentials, you can.

Facebook is taking longer because, basically, the way they implement their API is harder and I’m not really a coder. I don’t know if my web server has the JSON::XS perl module I need and the way Facebook is now implementing the Connect API has changed substantially since the documentation was written way back in December of last year.

At any rate, I’ll keep hacking crudely away at the Facebook problem, and the banner along the top, and the ads, and the map and the blogroll…

A History of Violence

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There was a mob outside of the Threadneedle Street branch of RBS in London.

They smashed the windows and invaded the building.

The press is referring to them as anti-capitalist protesters.

Rife with apparent contradictions, this situation, an outgrowth of the generic protests of the G20 meeting, is relatively easy to analyse.

The protesters are bored, idle and ill-informed. The police are edgy, ill-informed and have developed a siege mentality.

The outcome was never bound to be good.

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